Bipolar Skizoaffective Rant

Im Bipolar Skizoaffective and suffer from panic attacks, night terrors too ! I was diagnosed when I was 17, I got a hold of some bad pot, I pretty sure it had PCP in it . Life is hard, but when people ask me if I want to die or commit suicide, I say it crosses my mind all the time, but I want to live, just a peacful life not one that is complicated . Life is what you make it, just some of us are conflicted with different things, physically and mentally!

A Great Therapeutic Tool – Jack Phoenix’s Advice

Hi Screeb,

I went back and read your blog from the beginning. Hadn’t realized it was such a recent project. I think it’s a great idea as a therapeutic tool for you, and I’m sure it’ll be useful for others in your position.

I hope that at some point you’ll feel able to share with readers the problems you’ve had that have led to your diagnosis, as well as reflecting on the day-to-day aspects of living with a mood disorder.

I know you must be aware of Kay Redfield Jamison’s ‘An Unquiet Mind’. You also express an interest in the link between mental ill-health and creativity – and even ‘genius’. There’s something in this (although I have to say I have met some very dull and unintelligent manic depressives, as well as a handful of very clever and interesting people). Jamison’s book ‘Touched With Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament’ is an interesting read on this subject.

Of course, Jack Phoenix isn’t my ‘real’ name (although in another sense, it is: I changed it by deed poll). In fact, I stole the name from a book called ‘The Wanting Seed’ by Anthony Burgess – one of the most deplorably homophobic and ill-conceived pieces of writing I’ve ever had the misfortune to read. It’s hilariously awful for such an admired writer. But I like the name: it has a certain resonance, and the phoenix is a great symbol for the bipolar experiences I have had.

I think it’s important to be as honest as possible when writing about these experiences. The advantage of writing under a pseudonym is that it gives me the feeling of anonymity which allows me to write and describe things I would not reveal otherwise – mainly because it might upset and harm family members or reflect badly upon me.

Keep up the good work.

Keep in touch.

Best wishes,

Jack (Jack Phoenix)

A Fan of Screeb – Bipolar Perceptions

Screeb’s Character Attacked! My First Hatemail! So Excited!

okay opinion 1, I really don’t like how you are exploiting mental illness for your own selfish needs….. or so it seems. Simply I think it is lame, to be honest. Sylvia Plath exploited her shit too, and really she was not as talented on talent merit as her husband, Ted Hughes, she was a celebrity. Not that I think bi-polar is a shameful thing for I do not I support Nami, but I do not think it’s something you should hang your hat on and represent yourself as a person…… especially anonymously. I think it lacks character and pervades shame as opposed to pride, when you think of yourself when you do it from behind a curtain. Kind of like a pussy actually. You are more than your disorder for it’s not even a disease and mostly 5 in 10 people are misdiagnosed with it. But you are welcome to post shit on my page, just don’t represent it as the anonymous person with a mental condition, for that lacks character, as much as you are attempting to be a character, if you are trying to be a writer than you have my support, but hang your shit on who you are entirely not just a small fraction of what makes up your being. welcome, Katy

Not a Fan of Screeb – Bipolar Perceptions

Seroquel and anxiety for Ann, with a touch of depression

Hi Screeb-

Nice to meet you. I too have taken seroquel to lessen anxiety and help with sleep. It eventually lost it’s effects and now I am on abilify, which also is less weight gain oriented.

Sorry you have such awful panic attacks. I used to have them as a child but fortunately have not had them as an adult. I’ve had friends who had them and I know how life threatening they feel.

I’ve been a hermit since mid winter. The long winters up here in Duluth leave me in a slump this time of year. I sleep much more, have a hard time getting motivated to pick up and keep things in order, and just feel far more depressed.

My version of bipolar does not have highs, it has agitation and deep depressions. Other than these end of winter slumps I’ve been pretty stable for a long period of time.

Thanks for opening up your experiences online. It’s difficult to always function in our culture with a secret and fear of judgment. People talk about mentally ill people around me, not knowing that I am, as if we were “those kinds of people”. What does that mean? I finally had to blurt out that I was one of “those” too and a low income mother to boot. “Shocked silence” Fortunately they did not come back to the quilters group I was visiting.

be easy on yourself, I’ll try to as well,

Ann

A fan of Screeb – Bipolar Perceptions Blog!